officialleadingplayer:

I wish

More than anything

More than life

More than jewels

I wish to go to the Broadway Flea Market

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basedgosh:

*randomly feels pain on a random part of my body* oh god here we go im gonna die

(Source: canadad)

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  • high school teacher: yeah i have a 4 year degree so you can call me Mr. Whatshisname and if you call me Frank that's disrespectful I'll give you detention for a week
  • college professor: hi i've got my Ph.D., i spent 10 years doing research, i have 7 patents and 26 published papers, and i was nationally recognized for my work. but you can call me Kim if you want.
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raptorific:

I hit words at random on iOS 8’s new predictive text feature so I could see what type of sentence my phone thinks I’m likely to say, and

image

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"College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”"
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"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"

"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"

"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"

"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."

"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"

(via bl-ossomed)

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